hym sharing pieces of her world

All Survivors Deserve Support: Activists Intervene at Rape Relief Walkathon

VANCOUVER - A small group of activists gathered at Second Beach in Stanley park Sunday to provide participants in Rape Relief’s Annual Walkathon with some alternative information highlighting the organization’s ongoing and outspoken exclusionary stance on trans women, sex workers, and substance use.

We had decided on maintaining a relatively low key presence at the event, recognizing that the space created there may be important to some survivors of sexualized violence and that having a more aggressive demonstration would be inappropriate as it could be triggering or potentially invalidate their experiences.

We distributed pamphlets (click here to download our pamphlet) to walkathon participants and decorated the pavement with positive messages in support of trans women’s rights, sex workers’ rights, harm reduction, and access to support for all survivors of sexualized violence.  Shortly into our intervention, we were approached by three disgruntled representatives from Rape Relief, who proceeded to use scare tactics in an attempt to intimidate and silence us.  They told us that we had to leave, asked for our names, photographed us, said they were going to turn the photographs in to park security, and demanded we hand over our pamphlets.  When we calmly refused, they said they were going to call the park rangers and the police. 

When they returned after having allegedly called the police, they asked us to “put politics aside” and use the time before the police arrived as an “opportunity” to either dialogue or leave.  When we again refused, they demanded to know if we were affiliated with a group and why we were “interfering” with their event.  They also claimed that they “already provide this information to women accessing [their] services” and that they don’t “disrupt” “our events”. 

Although the police didn’t show up, two park rangers approached us along with the Rape Relief representatives and told us that it is against a bylaw to distribute pamphlets in the park without a permit, that we couldn’t “advertise” in the park, and that we couldn’t have signs (which we didn’t).  They said that we could stay in the park and talk to people if we stopped handing out pamphlets. 

Although the park rangers asked for a copy of our pamphlet and wanted to know if we were “with a group”, they insisted that they were not targeting the content of the pamphlet or our presence there.  After the park rangers and Rape Relief representatives left us alone, we regrouped and moved on to the area of the sea wall that participants would reach at the end of the walk.  We covered about 50 feet worth of pavement with positive messages (including “end transphobia,” “end violence against all women”, “transphobia is violence against women”, “<3 harm reduction”, and “<3 sex workers’ rights”), receiving positive feedback from a few passersby.

Our chalk-work was interrupted when two Rape Relief representatives aggressively confronted us, telling us again that we had to leave.  This time, one representative actually grabbed all of our remaining pamphlets and refused to return them.  We took hold of half the stack she had in her hands, at which point she reluctantly let go.  She insisted that we “obviously don’t understand her organization” because she is a volunteer who has worked with both sex workers and trans women – as if claiming to work with a community automatically makes Rape Relief an ally that provides support that is appropriate and non-judgemental.

Moments later, we noticed Rape Relief representatives carrying buckets of water, which they were using to wash away our messages, including messages which simply read, “end violence against all women” and “support services for all women.”  We noticed that they seemed to take extra care to erase all remaining traces of messages that read, “ask Rape Relief about their trans policy,” “transmisogyny is violence” and “end transphobia.”

At this point, the park rangers returned to inform us that they “obviously weren’t clear enough” regarding their bylaws.  They handed us a copy of these bylaws, with the section stating that we couldn’t affix, paint, advertise, or distribute information highlighted.   They informed us that our messages were “defacing park property” and were in breach of the “no advertising” bylaw. 

When we challenged them on this, stating that children often draw on sidewalks and that the rain will eventually wash the chalk away, the park rangers argued that “children’s messages aren’t political,” thereby contradicting their earlier insistence that we weren’t being targeted for the content of our messages.  They told us that we could either leave the park, or provide identification and be issued a warning ticket.

We were fairly shaken by Rape Relief’s aggressive, and intimidating response and particularly upset over their choice to efface our messages in such a hostile  manner.  Although we weren’t necessarily shocked, we were disappointed that the organization chose to remove messages of ending violence against all women – messages that we would hope, and perhaps even assume, that any rape crisis centre would support. 

Unfortunately, we recognize that we aren’t alone in our experience attempting to confront Rape Relief’s violent policies.  Their actions conform to their now predictable pattern of dismissing and silencing criticism of their organizational policies and culture.  We are committed to challenging how Rape Relief contributes to rape culture through their practices and will continue to support the growth of community responses to violence that support all survivors.

Having attended this event for the first time, we can already think of many ways to improve next year’s strategy.  For anyone interested in sharing this information and strategizing, please contact rape.relief.intervention@gmail.com

Handing out pamphlets

Handing out pamphlets

Rape Relief organizers demand pamphlets, threaten to call police

Park Ranger gives ‘warning’ warning

Rape Relief organizers remove chalk slogans from Seawall

(This blog post was written by The Homomilitia)

WHAT.THE.FUCK

how can I better support/ be an effective ally in this?

(Source: transfeminism)

http://transfeminism.tumblr.com/

THE ANGRY THERAPIST: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

theangrytherapist:

1. Give up your need to always be right.

2. Give up your need for control.

3. Give up on blame.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.

5. Give up your limiting beliefs.

6. Give up complaining.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism.

8. Give up your need to impress others.

9. Give up your…

Sounds so easy. Hardest list of your life.

THE ANGRY THERAPIST:

theangrytherapist:

martoosha:

theangrytherapist:

I just wrote a post about how if you want to get fit or lose weight bad enough, you will make it happen.  There is truth to that but there is also a missing piece I didn’t mention.  Inner conflict.  I believe we all struggle with an internal conflict that prevents us from executing our goals.  These are beliefs based on our story.  There may be many feelings there.  Shame.  Guilt.  Fear.  You have to figure out what this conflict is and explore it.  Reframe.  Maybe the pressure to look a certain way, either from self or others, is what is preventing you from losing the weight.  Maybe there’s a piece of you that doesn’t believe you deserve it.  Maybe being in this current package allows you to hide.

- Angry 

Confession Sunday.

This has been on my mind for awhile, and as per usual, Angry’s posts feel like they could have been written for me. If you don’t follow The Angry Therapist, you should.

The above post from Angry is exactly why when on the path to becoming a registered dietician, I went back to psychology. My exact reasoning, despite putting off school, again, for another year, was that I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. I didn’t want to sit in front of someone telling them how they should be eating without addressing and dealing with the psychological side of the story. There’s often a disconnect which causes psychological warfare between what you know you should be doing, and what you do.

Enter my present situation. My weight, body image, and self esteem is something that I have always struggled with. The older I got, the more I realized that it mattered less than my psychological well being, which in turn, significantly affected how I ate and worked out anyway. And so I went through phases of perfect nutrition and exercise interlaced with unhealthy behaviours that I was used to growing up. After the breakup, I didn’t eat for weeks, dropped a lot of weight after being at a healthy weight and when I began to eat again my weight normalized itself. Then I started binging and gaining but last summer I realized it was happening and with exercise it didn’t get out of control. But now? Now it’s out of control. My weight skyrocketed for the next year and the only thing on my mind lately has been: what am I hiding from? Then I read Angry’s post and continued trying to narrow down the answer and have come up with one.

It’s easier to hide from relationships when you aren’t desirable. It hurts less when you know what the reason could be for people not liking you, or being interested in you, and it takes off the pressure of thinking about relationships. It hurts less when the likeliness of someone blowing you off for your personality is lessened. I guess this is what I’m hiding from.

I’ve been avoiding interactions with people and I’ve been feeling worse and worse about myself. I was fit before. I ate well. I felt healthy.

Well it’s time to feel that way again. I’m 25, I’ve been down this road before and it never ends well.

This is me, making a commitment to myself, to stop hiding.

I believe many can relate to your story.  Thank you for sharing it.

- Angry

hmm

Black Girl Dangerous: 10 Things Us Queers (And the Rest of Y'all) Can Do Today to Grow A Little

blackgirldangerous:

by Mia McKenzie

( New: Resistance Is the Secret of Queer Joy)

I think I’m a pretty self-reflective person. I think I try really hard to listen and learn and grow. I like the idea of evolving. Some days I evolve more than other days. Some days I do the opposite of evolving. Which, I guess,…

YES YES YES YES.